But this has nothing to do with the manga!
by Alec N Meg
Summary: A tribute to those parody guys! This is simply a collection of single chapter Inuyasha fanfics the two of us constructed randomly. In every manga there are a number of things just begging to be twisted into something humorous. That's what we're here for.
1. VILLAGE ON FIRE

VILLAGE ON FIRE

by Alecto

"A youkai is attacking!" A panicked villager screamed. "A demon is attacking the village!"

"How do you know?" Shouted another.

"The huts are on fire and the sky is getting dark!"

Of course that was the dead giveaway of a youkai assault on an innocent village; things spontaneously combust and the sky turns purple. How? Why? No one knows, it's just one of those things. The purple sky and fire are just for effect anyway, along with the dramatic background music, gusts of wind at just the right moment, and slow motion action. The long pauses and intense glares are pretty cool too.

Five travelers near the outskirts of the village heard the frightened cries and ran to investigate. Said five travelers happened to be Inuyasha, Kagome, Shippou, Miroku, and Sango.

"We heard screaming. Do you know where the youkai is?" Miroku inquired the nearest villager.

Before the villager could answer the youkai in question came into view.

"It's a water demon." Shippou said.

Inuyasha had unsheathed his sword and was ready to fight. "I can take this weak bastard on no problem!"

"If the village is being attacked by a water demon, then why are the huts on fire?" Kagome asked whoever cared to listen.

A villager who heard the miko answered. "I honestly don't know. Us village folk are usually too busy running around in circles screaming to think about it."

"It figures you idiots would be." Inuyasha commented. "I'm gonna go gut that youkai."

The hanyou took a running start before leaping high into the air and bringing his sword down on the offending demon's head. Crimson blood bubbled and gushed out around where Inuyasha's blade was sunk into the water youkai's skull. He removed his blade from the gouge and sheathed it.

"Well, that was quick." Inuyasha said. "What was the point of that anyway? We didn't even get a shikon no kakera! I'm sick of saving all these pansy-ass villages that are too weak to defend themselves. I mean, what's that point of it? We could be doing better stuff with our time, but instead we're saving these losers." The hanyou gestured towards some nearby village peoples with his thumb. "And it doesn't get us good ratings on TV either."

Kagome blinked. "Oookay…so what _would _be a better use of our time?"

Silence…

"I honestly don't know. It's up to those god awful writers to decide that."

"So what do we do until then?"

"Sit on our asses and wait for the next episode to come out."

Sango folded her arms. "Whose idea was it to only give me _one_ line?"

Shippou gazed off into space thoughtfully. "Well there was that one line… Y'know, that line. The one that you said. Or maybe Inuyasha said it. But it was… I actually think it was more than one line. Yeah! It was two or three lines, and you said them. Or maybe it was Inuyasha. But the point I'm trying to make here is that one time you _did _have more than one line. Unless it was Inuyasha's line. If it was than the point I'm trying to get to you is pointless."

A villager dumbstruck on the sidelines pointed out, "Hey ummm… Our huts are still on fire."

(A/N: I really enjoy writing stuff like this, I'm not expected to type thousands of words and I don't have to be really descriptive and I can have no plotline whatsoever. Of course there is some OOCness, it's a parody. I had an urge to make fun of the fact that every time something bad happens to a village, things randomly catch fire regardless of what it is.)


	2. MONOPOLY

MONOPOLY

by Megaera

The sun was shining; the grass was green; there was a gentle wind blowing from the east. It was the makings of another beautiful day in Feudal Japan.

Uh-oh, Rin knew where _this _was going.

"But Sesshoumaru-sama! Rin doesn't _want _to go stand at the top of a hill and watch Sesshoumaru-sama's hair blow in the wind for hours! Rin gets _BORED_!" The tiny orphan hollered her opinion at the top of her lungs and all in one breath.

Jaken rolled his wide, amphibious eyed, muttering, "Not like we have anything _else _to do."

"But Rin doesn't _WANNA_!"

"Silence silly girl!"

Sesshoumaru proceeded onward, ignoring his companions' pleas. If he didn't _really _have anything to do, then gosh dang-it, he was going to _look _like he did.

'_Hmmm—that's a nice, tall hill…'_

…Later that day…

"What is Sesshoumaru-sama doing?" Rin asked, picking a few more flowers to add to her already huge collection. Rin seemed to be forever picking flowers, but what she actually _did _with all of them was a mystery. (A/N: And a different parody!)

Jaken sighed. "He's thinking pesky, ningen brat! Isn't it obvious!"

"No."

"UGGGH!"

Rin tugged a Monopoly board out of nowhere, (A/N: How the heck do they _do _that?) and began to arrange the pieces.

"Rin's bored! Let's play!"

…Twenty minutes later…

"AGGGH! You cheated!"

Rin blew a raspberry. "Rin did not cheat!"

Jaken threw his piece at the board in disgust. "_Stealing from the bank _is called _cheating_!"

Rin began to sort all the piles in her lap by color.

"Girl! Are you even listening to me?"

Sesshoumaru tilted his gaze slightly. He had gotten bored of looking at the rock, the tree, and the small creek that he'd been staring at for the past ten minutes.

When the fans weren't watching, being a lord could be extremely boring…

"Rin! Quit robbing the bank!"

"Rin is _borrowing_!"

Sigh.

-Finito-


	3. THAT FLUFFY THING

THAT FLUFFY THING

by Alecto

Inuyasha, Kagome, Shippou, Miroku, and Sango sat in a circle around the warm campfire. Finding no decent or indecent lodging nearby, the group had been once again forced to make camp in the woods. Not that they weren't accustomed to it.

"Well, we've already discussed Naraku's whereabouts, which are unknown to us at the moment. What else is there to talk about?" Said Sango.

"We could butt into peoples' love lives!" Miroku chimed in.

Sango glared. "How about not."

"We could play card games." Kagome offered.

Inuyasha sighed. "I am so damn sick of those."

"We could wait for something to happen." Shippou suggested.

Silence…

More silence…

………

"This is stupid." Inuyasha said with narrowed eyes.

"I wonder what that fluffy thing on Sesshoumaru's shoulder is…?" Kagome mumbled.

The young miko's mumbled question caught the attention of the other four listeners.

"Obviously it's a tail." Shippou chirped.

"Is it _attached _to his ass? No! It's not! Why the hell do you think it's a tail!" Inuyasha hollered.

The kitsune kit shrank back. "Uhhh… Well it…it kinda looks like a tail."

"It's draped over his shoulder. It must be a fur boa or something." Miroku guessed.

Sango was staring at her hands in thought. "Typically in youkai that have human forms, parts of their demonic form manifest themselves. For example: a youkai with a tail may still retain a visible tail in its human form. Kagome, you once told me that in his demonic form Sesshoumaru has longer, fluffier fur across his chest, over his right shoulder, and on his back. That fur manifests itself in his human-like appearance as a sort of fur boa draped over his right shoulder."

Inuyasha, Kagome, Shippou, and Miroku's eyes were confused, dizzy swirls.

"That's a lot to take in when you say it that fast." Shippou twitched.

"And in monotone." Kagome added.

Inuyasha folded his arms into his haori sleeves. "This conversation bites ass. Let's talk about something else. Or do something else."

"Like what?" Miroku inquired.

"I know! I know! I know!" Shippou was jumping up and down. "Let's sing a campfire song!"

"NO!" All but Shippou shouted.

The kitsune kit looked as if he'd been slapped. "Oh…okay…"

"I dunno about you losers, but I'm goin' to sleep." Inuyasha leaned against the nearest tree and closed his eyes.

Silence…

Silence…

Silence…

Silence…

Silence…

Silence…

Silence…

Silence…

Silence…

"Waaaanna draaaw on 'im?" Shippou asked, wielding a Sharpie.

"Okay."

"Sure."

"I'm in."

(A/N: I should've added more to this. May some stuff about how the fluff keeps growing puffier and longer every time we see Sesshy. Oh well, I'll fit that into another parody.)


	4. THE STYLES HAVE FALLEN

THE STYLES HAVE FALLEN

by Alecto

"I think I'll pick that one." Kagome pointed to the green yukata behind the market stand.

Earlier that day Shippou had been practicing kitsune-bi and had accidentally torched the front of Kagome's blouse. The young miko was unharmed, but the top half of her school uniform was unwearable. She'd borrowed Inuyasha's red haori to wear and was currently in a village with the rest of the travel party buying new clothing.

"What's with you and green? Pick the red one." Inuyasha demanded.

"I can't pick the red one, that's _your _color."

"Why does it matter?" The hanyou asked. "Red's a damn good color."

"Because if we're all wearing red we'll look like Santa's elves or something!"

"Whatever." Inuyasha rolled his eyes.

"What about this one, Kagome-sama." Miroku was referring to a lovely, white yukata with a light pink obi. Kagome took a closer look. _See-through._

Kagome glared. "Hentai."

"Here's an orange one." Shippou said.

Kagome made a face. "Eww."

"What's wrong with it?" Sango inquired.

"Orange is a barfy color." Kagome replied. (A/N: It is!)

Inuyasha drew his eyebrows down. "We're gonna be here all day."

"Just go with your first choice." Sango suggested.

"I can't. Because _Inuyasha _doesn't want me to wear green."

"Keh. Just hurry up and get your stupid clothes."

"Fine. Fine." Kagome turned to the salesperson behind the stand. "I'll take the green yukata with the pink obi."

"That will be two dolla!" The salesperson said. (A/N: Yeah. Yeah. I know it's yen. I just felt like making someone say 'dolla'.)

"Uh-oh." Kagome sweatdropped. "I don't have any money."

"Then no clothes for you!" The salesperson shouted.

"Ahem." Miroku stepped forward. "I'll handle this. Excuse me kind sir but—Omigod! It's a giant chicken!" The houshi pointed somewhere randomly with wide eyes.

The salesperson's head turned towards the direction he was pointing so fast he could've gotten whiplash. "Oo! Where!"

Miroku grabbed the clothes. "Run!"

Inuyasha and friends somehow made it to the other side of the village where Kagome found a secluded area to change clothing.

"Sooo, how do I look?" Kagome did a pirouette.

"Like every other woman in this damn village."

"You look nice."

"Absolutely beautiful."

"That yukata really suits you."

"You look like a tomato!"

All turned and stared at the one who had given the last opinion with raised eyebrows. It was an old man, blind judging by the opaque, milky eyes he had.

"How the hell would you know?" Inuyasha inquired angrily. "You're blind!"

"Too late!" the old man shouted. "You'll never catch me! Hahaha!" And with that, he sped off down an alleyway between two huts.

Miroku stared. "That…was really weird."

Sango nodded. "You said it."

Kagome was looking around at the village females walking near her. "Inuyasha's right. I _do _look like everyone else wearing this stupid thing."

Miroku sidled over to Inuyasha "There really is no variety in clothing and hair styles around here. Or anywhere else we go."

Inuyasha was staring at someone. "I swear I've seen that girl in the past four villages we've been to. Except in one of them she got eaten by a demon."

Miroku closed his eyes and shook his head. "Oh how the styles have fallen."

(A/N: I laughed while typing this. In the mangas you'll notice that Rumiko often draws the same village women several times in different villages. And in village scenes where bandits have grouped together all of the females, random girls are added and taken from the mix every few panels. _And _everyone has the _same _freakin' hairstyle! _That_, my friends, drives me crazy.)


	5. TOGETHER FOREVER

TOGETHER FOREVER

by Alecto

Flames snapped, crackled, and popped (A/N: Teehee! Rice Crispies!) around him. Beyond the fire was unimaginable darkness. No way out and no way in.

"Inuyasha, now we can be together forever." Kikyou said.

The hanyou had chosen the dead miko over Kagome and unfortunately it was a very stupid choice.

Amber eyes glanced around with a bored look. "Yeeeah… Now that we're here what the hell are we gonna do?"

Kikyou looked upward; thinking. "Uhhh…I brought some board-games."

_Board-games! _Inuyasha had given up his physical body and life above to play Checkers and Connect Four with a psycho for all of eternity. Way to go!

"So we're gonna play board-games for the next forever and a half!" Inuyasha yelled.

"Umm yeah…… I also brought a deck of cards and some Frosted Flakes."

Inuyasha's eye twitched. "Oh Kami, _please _reincarnate me outta here."

(A/N: This is _extremely _OOC for Kikyou, but that's what makes it funny. I got to thinking, what would Inuyasha even _do _in hell forever with Kikyou? I know that if you take the serious approach then he would be existing as a soul happy or unhappy with her and that they would have no bodies and probably wouldn't communicate in the way we do on Earth. But I thought of it in a funny way and I got this.)


	6. BACKGROUND MUSIC

BACKGROUND MUSIC

by Megaera

The air thrummed with demonic energy; blood stained the cracked ground; it was now or never. Inuyasha raised the Tetsusaiga. One more blow and the whole quest could end. He aimed the blade at Naraku's heart.

"Ka—"(Bum bum bummm!)

Inuyasha stopped mid-swing. Kagome (who had been formerly unconscious and was about to wake up dramatically, thus increasing the effect enormously) sat up.

"Inuyasha? Are you okay?" Kagome inquired.

"Yes." The hanyou snarled in disgust. "It's all that damn music! It's fucking annoying!"

Miroku and Sango looked at each other. "Yeah," The taijiya agreed, nodding her head. "he's right, it can be pretty distracting."

"Especially when it gets so loud you can't hear what anybody else is saying." Miroku added.

Shippou shook his head. "Hey, at least _your _theme music isn't as bad as _mine_!"

Inuyasha nodded. "Yeah, the runt's right, his theme music sucks."

Miroku inclined his head in agreement. "It's true."

Sango nodded and Kirara mewed.

Kagome sighed. "And it gives stuff away! Every time something scary or interesting or important happens you hear this 'bum bum bum' nonsense and the dramatic effect gets totally squashed!"

In the background Naraku cleared his throat, Kagura began idly opening and closing her fan, and Kanna fell asleep. All three were ignored.

"It's true." Sango agreed. Inuyasha crossed his arms and nodded and Shippou and Miroku sighed.

Shippou suddenly looked around. "Hey, does anyone else feel like we're being watched?"

Inuyasha snorted. "Keh, that's _stupid. _Why would anybody want to watch _us_?"

Shippou shrugged. "I dunno, but I just have this weird feeling…"

"Keh. Baka!"

Kanna had begun to snore...


End file.
